


can you jack off to lee pace's eyebrows when im not home?

by horsetrackhiggs



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: BTW, M/M, Rating May Change, Wrong Number AU, bisexual!luke, gay!ashton, i have such a problem with wrong number aus i need to be stopped rly, i just love them so much, nb calum 4ever, nonbinary!calum, pan!calum, pan!mikey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-02-15 05:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2217144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsetrackhiggs/pseuds/horsetrackhiggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>to: +12627482129<br/>from: luke</p><p>9:30PM<br/>dude</p><p>9:31PM<br/>what the hell</p><p>9:31PM<br/>please stop </p><p>9:31PM<br/>mikey please</p><p>9:31PM<br/>can you jack off to lee pace's eyebrows when im not home?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. it begins

to: +12627482129  
from: luke  
  
9:30PM  
dude

9:31PM  
what the hell  
  
9:31PM  
please stop 

9:31PM  
mikey please  
  
9:31PM  
can you jack off to lee pace's eyebrows when im not home?

 

to: +12629259438  
from: ashton  
  
9:34PM  
cut mikey some slack

9:34PM  
lee pace is   
  
9:34PM  
F  
  
9:34PM  
I  
  
9:34PM  
N  
  
9:34PM  
E  
  
9:34PM  
;)

 

to: +12627482129  
from: luke  
  
9:36PM  
wait. fuck.  
  
9:36PM  
mikey has someone over  
  
9:36PM  
are you giving him head right now  
  
9:36PM  
shit thats gross stop  
  
9:37PM  
why couldnt you guys wait until after i left  
  
9:37PM  
why me  
  
  
to: +12629259438  
from: ashton  
  
9:40PM  
nah man  
  
9:40PM  
you just texted the wrong #

9:40PM  
hi im ashton and i dont know any mikey  
  
9:41PM  
which means your friend is totally getting off to lee pace

  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
9:41PM  
thank god  
  
9:42PM  
hi. im luke.

9:42PM  
thats so gross i never want to watch pushing daisies again

to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
9:43PM  
this is the most beautfiul that ive ever read  
  
9:44PM  
my roomie want to know if mikey is hot  
  
9:44PM  
bc they said 'anyone who can shamless get off to lee pace is someone i need to marry'  
  
  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
9:48PM  


 9:48PM  
mikey is the cute one w/ the colored hair  
  
9:48PM  
older pic but one of my faves  
  
  
to: luke  
from: ashton

9:50PM  
who is the other dude?  
  
9:50PM  
his bf?

 

to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
9:52PM  
oh hell no  
  
9:52PM  
no gross

9:53PM  
thats me  
  
9:53PM  
i should have cropped myself out  
  
  
to: luke  
from ashton  
  
10:00PM  
cal is relieved  
  
10:00PM  
and dont say that :((  
  
10:01PM  
luke is super cute  
  
  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
10:04PM  
as if mikey knew he was being talk about he's here  
  
10:04PM  
and is fanning himself and is asking if cal is a hottie/lee pace fan  
  
10:05PM  
im not cute >:(  
  
  
to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
10:10PM  


10:11PM  
took this one just 4 u guys -calum (who totally likes lee pace) xx  
  
10:11PM  
cal is the one in the back  
  
  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
10:14PM  
mikey is chanting at me to give you his number so its 12628476678

  
to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
10:18PM  
sorry cal took my phone so they could get the photo of mikey and his # on their phone  
  
10:18PM  
cal's hot ofc something like this would happen to them  
  
  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
10:20PM  
i actually prefer the dork in the front :P  
  
  
to: calibear  
from ashton  
  
10:22PM  
my momma always told me of creeps on the interweb  
  
10:22PM  
but never about cute boys who text me by accident and are just askin for me to fall in love with them  
  
  
to: ashtary  
from: calum  
  
10:24PM  
is there rly a promblem here  
  
10:26PM  
bc u might finally be able to date someone out of this  
  
10:26PM  
and im getting laid B)  
  
  
to: calibear  
from: ashton  
  
10:30PM  
you are so fucking gross  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways comments and all that jazz are rad
> 
> im montparnsnazzy on tumblr, so come say hi!!!!!


	2. our friends did the deed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what what??? isaac is actually fucking updating??? WHOA!!!!!

to: lukiepie  
from: michael

12:51AM

12:51AM  
after sex selfieeeeeeeeeee ;))))))))))))

 

to: mikeGAY clifford  
from: luke  
  
12:55AM  
thats so gross wtf why do you think i wanna know that??

  
12:56AM  
wait. where are you guys anyways??

1:00AM  
mikey are you okay?  
  
1:03AM  
??????????????????   
  
  


to: lukiepie  
from: michael  
  
1:24AM  
lmao bro chill im at a hotel  
  
1:24AM  
they are so great they wanted 2 go a second time  
  
1:25AM  
;)))

 

to: mikeGAY clifford  
from: luke  
  
1:25AM  
dude.  
  
1:25AM  
gross.

 

to: ashtray  
from: calum  
  
1:45AM  


  
1:45AM  
two fucks and one recieved blowjob later B) xx

 

to: calibear  
from: ashton  
  
1:55AM  
congrats pal  
  
1:55AM  
go get that boy  
  
  


to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
2:05AM  
so...  
  
  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
2:06AM  
i know.

2:07AM  
one fucking hour of knowing eachother and they drove over 2 hours to have sex with eachother  
  
  
to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
2:08AM  
i think its a beautiful luv story :)  
  
  
to: ashton  
from: luke  
  
2:11AM  
you guys are all gross as fuck  
  
2:12AM  
i'm going to bed  
  
  
to: luke   
from: ashton  
  
2:13AM  
noooooooooo :((((((((((  
  
2:15AM  
lukkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
  
2:15AM  
lucccccccccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssss  
  
2:15AM  
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
2:19AM  
lov me <3  
  
2:40AM  
u dont luv me </3  
  
2:45AM  
im i tears   
  
2:50AM  
D':

3:10AM

3:15AM  
IM SO SAD WHY HAS THE QT PIE GONE?????  
  
3:15AM  
PLZ COME BACK 2 ME  
  
3:30AM  
u cant just leave me sad can u?????

3:35AM  
fineeeee gudnite luke :((((((((((  
  
  
to: michael <3333333333333333  
from: calum  
  
6:04AM  
hey babe i already misssss yoooooou B( xx  
  
  
to: calum the babe  
from: michael  
  
6:05AM  
i kno :((

6:05AM  
i wish i didnt have 2 work in the morning :(((  
  
6:05AM  
i wanna spend the whle day w/ u :(((((  
  
  
to: michael <3333333333333333  
from: calum  
  
6:07AM  
mayb next week we can sneak away and c eachother??? c: xxx  
  
  
to: calum the babe  
from: michael  
  
6:08AM  
yea. i hope <333 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahHA yeah sorry it's been so long gosh wow yeah sorry this one is kind fo short but i just wanted to be able to update for you guys!!!!!!!
> 
> anyways comments and all that jazz are rad
> 
> im montparnsnazzy on tumblr, so come say hi!!!!!


	3. luke breaks his phone and ashton cries a little

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just fuck me up im updating

to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
1:30PM  
heeeeeeeyyyyyyy  
  
1:31PM  
how r u luke the cute?????

1:31PM  
that was lame sry

1:32PM  
LMAO NOT

4:15PM  
hey hey hey???  
  
4:15PM  
r u made at me for those last txts???

4:16PM  
ok i admit it was lame

4:17PM  
legit sry   
  
4:17PM  
buuuuuuuuuuuut  
  
4:18PM  
u r super cute  
  
4:19PM  
:DDDDDDDDDDD

5:30PM  
r u mad at me????

6:00PM  
luke. this isnt funny.

6:01PM  
r u ok?

6:02PM  
luke please

 

to: calum's bae  
from: ashton  


7:00PM  
is luke okay?

 

to: calum's bff  
from: mikey  
  
7:02PM  
yeah he is

 

to: calum's bae  
from: ashton  
  
7:04PM  
is he mad at me??

7:04PM  
he's not replyin to my txts

 

to: calum's bff  
from: mikey  
  
7:05  
oh, shit  
  
7:05PM  
his phone is broken  
  
7:07PM  
hey! sorry ashton my phone just 100% died on me today i didnt mean to leave you hanging!! im no (1/3)

7:07PM  
t mad at you at all, i promise!! im gonna try to get to the store in the text one or two days to get a new o(2/3)  
  
7:08PM  
ne!! i'll text you beofre anything else as soon as i get it. love you <3333 - luke

 

to: calum's bae  
from: ashton  
  
7:10PM  
oh okay, nbg.

7:10PM  
luv and miss u, cant wait <3 c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sry this is short and it took me so long 2 update 
> 
> commet or whatever if u want
> 
> im patrickstumped on tumblr pls lov me


	4. unanswered texts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so short and it's only here to remind u that im not dead tbh

to: luke  
from: ashton  
  
8:09AM  
hey buddie!!

12:30PM  
im guessing u dont have ur phone back

12:31PM  
that makes me go from :) to :(

2:30PM  
my day is alot slower w/o u in it

2:35PM  
i hope ur phone gets fixed soon

4:58PM  
luke the cute i miss u and ur cute

5:30PM  
u rly brightened my days tbh

5:32PM  
like u gave m moar light than the sun :oooo

6:00PM  
ur bright like the sun

6:03PM  
u no wat else u n the sun have in common???

6:05PM  
ur both HAWT

10:37PM  
goodnight luke x

11:00PM  
i miss u :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole fic is shit sry
> 
> patrickstumped @tumblr


End file.
